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Wedding Gifts

Wedding Gifts questions and answers

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Q: Wedding Gifts?
I'm now planning on a reception for the wedding and not sure about asking guests for gifts. I don't want to go through the process of deciding a gift registry for guests to buy gifts and then returning the gifts not meeting my needs. I'd prefer receiving monetary gifts $$$. It's easier. Is this something etiquette acceptable? How do I put it on the invitation or let my guests know that they don't need to buy gifts, instead they can give me the cash?

A: Don't put anything stating cash preferred - that is tacky. If you don't list any place you are registered -- folks will most likely give cash or gift cards. Congrats.

Q: What are the most prestigious wedding gifts?
Out of curiosity what do you consider to be the most prestigious manufacturers of each of the following common wedding gifts? Fine China Everyday ware (Casual Dinnerware) Flatware Crystal & Glass Cookware & Bakeware Please note I am asking for the very most prestigious manufacturers you know of for each item. Anything that can be bought in walmart doesn't count. Hudson Belks or a similar store is around where I am looking.

A: Waterford crystal from Ireland is supposed to be very good.

Q: At what point should I be buying wedding gifts for extended family?
I have a very large family, so it seems like I have a couple cousins getting married every summer. Its always been my parents buying gifts 'from' our whole immediate family, which is probably the way it will still be. At what point should I start to buy wedding gifts for these family members? After graduating from college? When its a cousin I was close to? Or do I even need to do so?

A: when you are gainfully employed and can support yourself.

Q: Do I have to register for wedding gifts or is asking for money tacky?
In this day and age do I still have to register for wedding gifts or does asking for money look tacky? My fiancee and I have been together for over 7 years and own our own home. There really isn't anything that we would need that we don't already have. I rather have money to spend on the honeymoon, or even home improvements.

A: Asking for money is considered tacky and offends many people. I wouldn't risk it. However, I see your point. IF you can register for even a few things, it will probably spur more people on to send money or gift cards. Can you use some new towels? New sheets, a few random pieces of Rubbermaid? A new kitchen knife (or set or knives)? Do you have a set of china? If not, you might consider registering for china. If you already have a set and it's still in production, could you ask for some serving pieces that will come in handy in the future? If you register and your registry is small, people will get the idea without you even mentioning it, that they can give you money because you already have most things you need. And you win and people don't think you're rude. What about a registry at a home improvement store as well? My son did this and got several tools that he could use and hadn't been able to purchase because of cost. Good luck!

Q: Should you return wedding gifts after a break up?
What is the proper time frame (if any) that wedding gifts should be returned if you break up AFTER the wedding?

A: nah keep em, sell them on ebay and go on a holiday to met another stud.

Q: Is ok to ask for money for the honeymoon instead of wedding gifts?
I am planning my 2nd wedding. My fiance' and I both have established households and already will have 2 of everything. We would really like to take a nice honeymoon and wondered about putting on the invitation (which I am making myself) that in lieu of gifts to contribute to the honeymoon fund. Does that sound too tacky? Any other suggestions on how to word it? Thanks,

A: No, I'm afraid not. You can have your mom or family members subtly hint to guests that money is your preference, but by inviting people to your wedding, you're inviting them to share in your happiness in whatever way they want, which means they can give whatever gift they want. One way to help encourage money, though, is not to register at many places or for very many things. That way when they ask your family members about gifts, it gives them a chance to say, "well, what they really want is money for their honeymoon." You might be excited to know that many guests give money anyway. . . my husband and I got over $3,000 in cash that we took on our honeymoon.

Q: What do you think about people counting and complaining about their wedding gifts?
The day after their wedding, my brother and his new wife sat down and went through all their wedding gifts/cards and compared them with the guest list. They basically made note of what everyone gave (for thank you cards). Since then, they have been talking to us (immediate family: me, my sis, dad, mom, etc.) and complaining about supposedly "cheap people" who didn't give them a gift or who gave only $50, (our cousin, for example) etc. What do you think about that? Is that kind of behavior normal, acceptable and generally expected, or is that totally ridiculous and rude? Something in between? Thanks! They basically believe that since the wedding was expensive, the gift should reimburse them. They did say it could depend on the person's means, tho. To their credit -- they said it's cool for a single person to maybe gift $50. But they said an established middle class couple should double that.

A: Totally ridiculous and rude. This is extremely uncouth behavior, and if they want to discuss this, they should keep it to themselves. While it is customary for an invited guest to give a gift, it is by no means obligatory. There are some commonly accepted etiquette guidelines for gift giving, but that is another topic.

Q: Is it acceptable to sell wedding gifts received over ten years ago?
I have recently found the need to consider selling personal items, including wedding gifts (china, crystal, silverware, etc.), given to my husband and I over ten years ago. Our reasons are financial in nature and we have not used the items in many years if at all. The thought occured to me when I was shopping for a wedding gift recently and realized the monetary value of some items I have. I normally wouldn't have considered it further but we really could use the money right now.

A: sure if you do not need the items by all means sell them

Q: What is proper etiquette in giving bridal shower and wedding gifts?
A few of my friends came to both my bridal shower and wedding last year and gave a shower gift (ranging from about $20-25) and then came to the wedding but did not give a wedding gift. Several of them are getting married soon, so should I do the same, or give gifts for both? Is it customary to some people to only do one or the other? I personally have always given gifts for both occasions, if invited, but would like to know other people's opinions.

A: Invitations to the bridal shower are not always the same as to the wedding. You ask the closest people to you to the shower.All relatives,co-workers of bride,groom, both parents,classmates, family of the wedding party,etc, and friends of everyone to the wedding.Those people not invited to the shower usually give a beautifully wrapped gift or an envelope with cash or check in it at the wedding. There can also be a personal bride shower for the very best girl friends, sisters,bridal party, and sometimes the mother's where the guests bring lingerie and honeymoon type extras.You can be invited to all three but you do not have to bring a gift to all three unless it doesn't hurt you financially or if you spend less on 2 or 3 gifts but add up to what you would spend on one great gift. Just being at each celebration is enough and only give one gift for the whole wedding.Best wishes and don't get caught up in the money part of celebrating.A gift from the heart and attendance should never be overlooked as options and be gratefully appreciated..

Q: What are some ideas for parent wedding gifts?
My fiance and I need help coming up with unique wedding gifts for our parents. We have already found unique items for the bridal party, but are at a standstill when it comes to our parents! Help!

A: While it's a lovely sentiment, a wedding gift to your parents is not necessary. The wedding, if they are paying, is THEIR gift to YOU. It's not an obligation, it's a gift. Seeing you and your new spouse enjoy yourselves is gift enough. I would think that for most parents, a lovely wedding picture of yourself and your new spouse would be a welcome gift, especially something nicely framed.

Q: What do you do when you receive wedding gifts before the wedding?
I am getting married in just under 2 months and today we received our first gift. It came wrapped but there was a packing slip in the box so we know what it is, and thankfully that also said who it was from! What I am wondering is do we open it and and immediately write a thank you note? Do we leave it wrapped until the wedding pretend we don't know what it is? Then write the note after the wedding. Or do we open it now then send the thank you note after the wedding?

A: open it - admire it - immediately sit down and write your thank you card and put it in the mail! if you do your cards as your gifts come you won't find it to be so time consuming. happy wedding!!!! edit: if you don't send a card til after the wedding then the couple sending the gift will be wondering for the next two months if you received it at all - its better to send the card immediately so they know the courier delivered it on time.

Q: How can I specify no gifts are expected when giving a wedding invite?
I have recently re-connected with some cousins, and I would like to invite them to my wedding. However, since we had been out of touch for so long, I don't expect them to get us a wedding gift, but I think they would feel obligated when they receive the invitation. I know it's tacky to make any mention of gifts on an invitation, so I don't know if I should email them or something? That might be tacky, too. Any ideas? Thanks for any help!

A: But you can. "The only presents required is your presence."

Q: is it rude to expect wedding gifts from people who won't attend the ceremony and/or reception?
i am gettin married in h k my friends (here) and my parents will attend. but most of my friends and family in the US won't attend. i will send wedding announcements to everyone. would it be unacceptable to tell them how to send me gifts? should i still register at a popular retail superstore like wal-mart, kmart ect... does wal-mart let you register your wedding online? what places can i register online for my wedding?

A: Register. But personally, I think it's rude to EXPECT gifts. Why would one be obligated to purchase you a gift just because you are getting married?

Q: What are appropriate Indian wedding gifts?
My wife's best friend who was her maid of honor is getting married in India. My wife would have been her friend's maid of honor, but we just had our first baby born last week - the wedding is the last week of December. What is an appropriate gift and traditional Indian gift that my wife could give to her close friend, besides money?

A: Gold jewelry, but that is usually given by the bride's parents. Some people give really nice sarees to the bride. Pretty much anything you would give to an American couple is good to give to an Indian couple; just make sure the voltage is compatible if you are giving an appliance.

Q: What are the best department stores in Victoria, Canada for wedding gifts?
I have a friend who is getting married in Victoria this year and as I can't go to the wedding I would like to buy them a gift card for a Canadian store. I live in Australia and haven't been to Canada (plan to, though) so I don't have a clue what your stores are like. Can anyone tell me what would be the best place to purchase a gift card from? I would like them to be able to choose something nice and appropriate for a wedding. If anyone has been shopping in Australia and knows these stores, I'm thinking Myer/David Jones/Grace Bros. Thanks.

A: The Hudon Bay Company (The Bay) is usually a favorite for wedding couples to register at. It has everything from dishes, appliances, silverware, china etc. That would be my first choice. http://www.hbc.com/landing.html My second choice might be Pier 1. They have all sorts of funky dishes, vases, decorations and furniture. Another top store for couples to register at. http://www.pier1.com/home.aspx?